I had to pee in a cup today. That was exciting. Just another step in the hiring process of a company I am interested in. Or, they are interested in me... or both. It was the first time that I had ever had to take a drug test and while I wasn't worried about the outcome, it was more the fact that once I got there...I couldn't go. I drank an entire SoBe Life Water on the way and had 3 cups of water while sitting in the waiting room. Nothing. Of course, I was welcome to sit in the waiting area until I "felt the urge" so I sat there and watched the end of a movie they had playing. They had on Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls. How ironic.
So, I started trying not to think about it, figuring that if I just concentrated on something else, it'd work itself out. Naturally, as my mind often does, I started thinking about the Seinfeld episode where Elaine has to pass a drug test in order to accompany Mr. Peterman to Africa. (Isn't it funny how every situation in life can be referenced by Seinfeld?) She inadvertently ate some poppyseed muffins before she had to give her urine sample, which led to her testing positive for opium. She admits that it was the poppyseeds in the muffin and Peterman lets her take a "pop-urine test" to try again. This time she had eaten a very small amount of chicken at Jerry's apartment which apparently contained some poppyseeds. Now, I would think that it would take an awful lot of those seeds to really show up on the test, but it's television... anything is possible! This thought process inevitably led to what I had eaten before I had to whiz into a plastic cup. I mentioned the SoBe drink, which was Apple Pear. Clean. Jolly Ranchers. Clean. Blueberry Pop-Tarts. Clean. Ok then, I think I'm good to go.
Alright. Enough is enough already. I was getting tired of waiting, so I just decided to tell the girl at the desk that I was ready to give it a shot. So I went and that was that. However, now that I am home, all of that water that I drank in preparation is making a charge. So what's the lesson here kids? I'm not really sure there is one, but I'm glad it's over.
Currently listening to:
Tool | Opiate